Author Topic: F2M & M2F  (Read 361 times)

Offline opie

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F2M & M2F
« on: August 11, 2017, 01:00:46 PM »
Not a big deal but still learning. .......And here I thought I was progressive enough to even know what the terms m2f and f2m meant  :)

I was having a discussion with my son the other day and I used the term f2m with him. I was promptly told how he really dislikes the terms f2m and m2f. I asked him why. He said: I am not a female to male. I have always been a male but I was born with the wrong parts.

I thought about that and can so see his point. This made sense to me.

Lesson: I will no longer use the terms m2f or f2m

Offline Jennifer

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2017, 12:10:34 AM »
Your son is a smart kid. He knows more than most who he is. From what I gather, he's not transgender in his own eyes, he's just a man. It's that simple. Good for him. His pants are a little roomy, but that's it. May i ask how old he is?
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Offline opie

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2017, 10:17:12 AM »
He is 17 now. He turns 18 in April 2018.  He is the youngest of 5. He has 4 older sisters. We have him in counselling. He is disphoric. He is on T. Started with injections but he is on cream at the moment. The shots started to get him down. Not the T but the physical giving himself a shot was taking a lot out of him. We are looking at top surgery for him when he turns 18 next year. We are also in the process of his name and gender change. Name change is straight forward but depending on who you ask, gender change can be done, cant be done, can be done, cant be done.......... .So much misinformation .

As for his pants being roomy  :D No. He uses a packer. Lol. The things I didnt know about before my son was born. https://www.freetomprosthetics.com/collections/realistic-packers


Offline freckles

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2017, 02:10:25 PM »
If you are in Missouri, then I can tell you the gender change can be done.  I did it pre-surgery and got a court order for name and gender change. :)  Let me know if you want details...

Offline Jennifer

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2017, 08:54:19 PM »
I would love to get some of those details. I've been trying to find an affordable name change venue, but not much luck. The state does offer a form you can fill out to get the fee waived, but they don't like to accept that very well. Here in Columbia at least.

I also would like as much info as possible on getting the gender change. I'm already listed as female at my doctors offices, but it's not "legal" yet.
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Offline freckles

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2017, 12:01:38 PM »
I started the process of filling out the forms to file at the county clerk for myself, but I relented and contacted an attorney to see what it would cost for them to do it for me and go to court with me.  I paid them a ~$750 retainer and that is all I ever paid and the filed a motion for Name and Gender change for me.  It was worth it to me and when I asked for help getting my name changed on my kids birth certificates in Missouri (the office in jeff city said they had to have a specific court order to change my name on the BCs...), they filed the motion and went to court for me again with no additional charge.  They said it was part of my name change and I did that 3 months after the original name and gender change.

I had to go to court, and get up on the stand, and even had a conservative judge.  They asked about my transition progress, etc., and I told them basically that I was out and everyone knew me as female, at home and work.  Then he asked my attorney "What authority do I have to order this gender change?".  My lawyer said, "You have done it once before, Judge.".  lol...she had done it before and he was the judge.  He said "Ok, well I have already signed the order, so it is done".  and that was it.

But, when I got my court order it worked on everything except my BC because the state I was born in required surgery.  So, driver's license, SSN, passport, all financial records, you name it, I got it changed with the court order.  Once i got my surgery letter, I fixed my BC, too.

Offline opie

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2017, 01:50:19 PM »
Thanks and awesome to know Freckles, about the gender change. Yes, we are in Missouri. Saint Charles.We are trying without a lawyer first. We went that route and got bad advice. The lawyer we first talked to we were given through PFLAG, and that lawyer was the one that said the gender change couldn't be done in Missouri. We have since heard differently.  Hearing from someone that has actually done it is fantastic though, means we will fight a bit harder knowing it can be done. My Son will be pleased. Especially if we can get it done for him soon. He keeps putting off doing things because of it. Drivers License, Bank Account ,etc. I say get your stuff now and change when you can. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want his old name or gender on anything. It is starting to suck with somethings. We try so hard to use the right pronouns and his name and then you pull up to a drive through pharmacy and have to revert back to his old name with him sitting next to you. You just see the look on his face...... Sorry. Anyway, thanks for some positive info :-)


Offline Jennifer

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2017, 02:43:49 AM »
If I don't know how things are run out in your area but her, there's a form you can fill out that will your fee charge.
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Offline Little Tony

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Re: F2M & M2F
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2018, 09:48:12 PM »
Running behind but I am new.

I got my name changed year ago in Columbia,  went on line got all of the paper work except for the waiver for the fee. Had to go to the court house for that.  Once i got everything done it went through very quickly and easy.  They even let me do some of the online stuff in the office there.  I had to go through a few videos about representing your self in court.